My Beloved Friend

By: Perpetua All Mother

My grief is silent, but long-suffering.

I can't bring myself to speak it aloud—

so it eats at me, quietly.

I wish I could go back and tell my best friend:

all those times she thought I was angry,

I was trying my hardest.

It was all love.

And I’m sorry.

My heart cannot bare what happened to my beloved friend.

What do they mean i'll never see her again?

I think about it every day—

I feel her spirit in the wind.

The universe didn’t love her the way I love her.

My world has stopped —

and yet the earth still spins.

They asked me to say a few words about her—

but they don’t know her like I know her.

Besides, I still can't believe,

I'll never again see,

my dearest friend-

who went through everything with me.

It’s been two weeks since the unimaginable happened.

But I refuse to accept it.

I'm waiting by the phone,

hoping someone calls and tells me

it was all just some fucked up misunderstanding.

I’m grieving on my hands and knees,

sick— over the loss of my best friend.

If I could get close to God right now,

I would bite him on the neck.

Written with all my love. for "T"

“True friends never apart maybe in distance but never in heart”

―Helen Keller

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