Star Mother-By PERPETUA ALL MOTHER

Little white lies stacking up to suffocate me from the inside 

This loneliness is getting really hard to romanticize 

People have told me I’m over reacting but they can’t feel the weight on my chest that puts me to sleep in agony

If it was easy there would be no poetry 

Star mother can you hear me? 

I miss you hopelessly 

I'm lost and all I have is your light to guide me home from sea

I’d trade all my gold to buy back your drug addicted soul—I need you here with me

If I do it right 

Each night I suffer religiously 

I can't wait to die 

I’ve wasted my life wondering what’s next for me 

They ask me if I’m alright 

I always say yes 

Telling little white lies to get the pressure off my chest 

Star mother, can you help me? 

I don’t think I have it in me 

This last lap is long and for some time now I’ve been limping 

I dream of you so often it's torturing

They say the soul is silent

if it speaks at all 

It speaks in dreams 

I used to pray that you'd come back for me

I'm a pawn in gods game of tragedy

I remember my childhood as one long prayer to be elsewhere 

I'm sorry the angel of death kissed you before I could get there 

Star mother are you listening? 

I died the day your spirit visited me. 

A temptress in blue mist 

I realized then at the ripe age of ten 

I've been cheated of my redemption 

now that I’m grown with no family of my own 

I realize buying a house doesn’t mean it’s a home

I’m calling out to you star mother  

Each time I pray It's like getting you on the phone 

Tonight I ask burning questions, 

I beg for your reassurance and blessings 

“Am I destined to suffer?”

“Must I do this all alone?”

I wonder if our connection is severed now that’s you're in another realm 

What’s the point of paying for 5g E if my call can’t even reach heaven?

So what's it gonna be? 

Mistress of grief, 

Queen of swords, 

lady of tears 

I'm all ears

After your loss I have nothing to fear 

Each evening my mind wanders 

Replaying my lived nightmares 

The past beats inside me like a second heart 

I'm still waiting for the good part of my life to start 

mom, 

I know you’re far 

but just this once 

come down from your star 

I'm on the edge and I need a savior  

Show mercy on me with your heavenly favors 

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